Taylor Swift's breakup has caused the Swifties to go too far....
I'm trying not to make this a Taylor Swift newsletter but I am who I am
If the rumours are true (they are), Taylor Swift is single, and you know what, I’d be wrong to deny that this made me a little prouder of my status as an unattached woman. Before, I largely was indifferent to it, and now I’m like, “Taylor is like me now. I hope someone has told her to stream ‘Prioritise Pleasure’ by Self Esteem.”
As discussed a few weeks ago, Swifties are nuts. They are prone to putting insane things on the internet about her, so I’m no stranger to scrolling past some questionable opinions about her, her motivations and how THIS FRIDAY, SHE IS DROPPING A SECRET ALBUM (she never is!!!!!!!!!)
Some I can ignore, but some cannot be overlooked, like the mad notion that ‘Lover’ is her best album.
Granted, during times of turmoil like the end of a six-year-old relationship between two people who believably could pass as siblings (just me?), people can drift into delusion but get a grip! Her seventh album is not her peak! Its 19 tracks vary in quality. It dips and has far too many skips. Accidental camp classics ‘London Boy’, ‘You Need To Calm Down’ and ‘ME! are not the same as the sacred religious texts ‘Cruel Summer’ and ‘Death By A Thousand Cuts’, and this needs to be said more!
However, this leaves a question I’ve grappled with; what is Swift’s best album? For this 13th labour of Hercules, I had to be strict with myself and remember it’s not my favourite, which every die-hard Swifty knows depends on what era you are in that day or, if you are me, which hour.
Cutting the fat is a relatively easy way to whittle the ten LPs down. Ask what is not her best. Immediately, my mind goes to ‘Reputation’, her 2017 aural middle finger. A good album for ‘Getaway Car’ alone and a landmark of late 10s pop culture but her pinnacle? I think not. Another instant elimination contender is ‘Midnights’. Yes, it gave us ‘You’re On Your Own, Kid’, ‘Karma’ and ‘Anti-Hero’, but please, her best? Be serious.
When it comes to ranking pieces of culture, often it seems we are working with vibes, and people never show their workings (I’m thinking those raggedy Rolling Stones rankings like that one that omitted CELINE DION FROM ITS LIST OF BEST VOCALISTS which are probably just engagement trap chaos) so I’m going to be very opaque.
During this exercise, I had to hush the teenage girl in me, whose soul is screaming about how her best album is either her eponymous debut, ‘Fearless’, ‘Speak Now’ or ‘Red’, the ones that were initially released when I was at school. Please, I have to pretend to be a good journalist.
But before I move on, I still marvel that 2006’s ‘Taylor Swift’ was written by a literal 16-year-old girl. ‘Our Song’ was her talent show entry! That fact has inspired me to sit at my computer longer than anything else, thrashing out, editing and fine-tuning words. One day, I will produce something as good as “Our song is the slamming screen door Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window, when we're on the phone, and you talk real slow 'cause it's late, and your mama don't know.” If you think I have, please tell me.
Anyway, that plea aside, back to business! ‘1989’ isn’t the best either. It marked her crossover to pop, a genre she keeps dipping in and out of. It is her strongest offering out of her country, folky waters, but it still suffers from the same problem as ‘Lover’ and ‘Midnights’. The highs, like ‘Clean’, ‘Blank Space’ and ‘New Romantics’, soar; there is still a bit of filler that bobs behind that are fine, but don’t go as hard.
After pruning the definite musical weeds, we have come to the final two. The 17-year-old me is screwing her face and wagging her finger at me and wanting to yell about how I’ve become a complete snob because it’s the pair that involves The National’s Aaron Dessner and none of the fun of the others. Luckily, I’m an adult and don’t have to listen to anyone, including her.
I will note that Taylor Swift’s best album is ‘Evermore’. Again this is not to mean it’s my favourite or but it’s a consistent no-skip feat that contains the line, “She would’ve made such a lovely bride; what a shame she’s fucked in the head!”
‘Folklore’, its sister album and the first of her pandemic surprise drops, is a serious contender for the title, but just misses the crown.
Perhaps, I’m being lazy, but I’m just not interested in explaining why it’s her best album. It just doesn’t spark joy. Explaining feels like a massive waste of time when something is so evidently true. Just listen to it….
When I began this newsletter, real-time capture of my opinion, I was raring to go. I sprang into action, motivated to bash this out by what I imagine was the opinion of a preteen. I could spend my precious Friday afternoon waxing lyrical about it, but I’m just going to let you bask in my correctness….