In defence of 'Better Than Revenge'
You can have a little internalised misogyny, as a treat
A rule of the internet is that Swifties are mad. Taylor Swift fans love clutching at looney theories like straws. On social media, they will present what appears to be a well-researched argument. On closer inspection, it is engagement trap chaos, like how she has a secret album that can’t be released, and it is all down to either Kanye West, Scooter Braun or someone else equally evil. Don’t forget the much-discussed, much-documented, much-divisive ideas around Gaylor-gate. If you don’t know, don’t stress.
Before I continue, a disclaimer; as a Swifty myself, this is like when you slag off your sibling and then the person you are talking to chimes in, and you’re like, “fuck off, that's my brother you’re talking about” so check yourself, please.
After that bit of housekeeping, back to business, from my time in the Twitter trenches, the consensus is the re-release of ‘Speak Now’ is looming. Despite owning this Mercury Prize snub on CD since its 2010 debut, the promise of vault tracks from Swift’s third record makes these rumours enticing; a reason to get out of bed, to keep scrolling, and to scoff at Swifty nonsense.
Once upon a time, known as the late 00s, a noted musician did a number on a 19-year-old Taylor Swift, the Morrissey of upper-middle-class white women. Using this experience, and her honourary M. Eng in bridge building, she penned ‘Dear John’, a nearly seven-minute takedown of a man who may or may not have a song called ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’.
More music like this is exciting for my daily streaming rotation, as Swift still has good mileage in the tank about these 13-year-old memories. ‘Would’ve, Should’ve, Could’ve, a BONUS track from 2022’s ‘Midnights: 3 am Edition’, is believed to be about the same bloke. Give me those sweet, sweet, cutting floor scraps! I am so ready.
I’m not ready, or will ever be, for DisCoURsE about ‘Better Than Revenge,’ track 10, being misogynistic, a notion that leaves a sludge in my stomach. The visual of an SEO cottage industry’s cogs gearing into action makes me want to wretch. My disgust is not because it's incorrect, because it’s not, nor is it a piece of legislation limiting abortion access! If you feel it so strongly, take your posting anger and get into grassroots organising; it needs that ire! The algorithm does not. It’s not that deep or severe. ‘Better Than Revenge’ doing it is doing its duty, and it needs a defender (me).
Before you get your knickers in a twist, the song’s premise is ridiculous; stealing men is impossible. You cannot shoplift them. If you disagree, get a grip! Grow up! Read some bell hooks or Dolly Alderton. Applying this sort of vocabulary to emotional betrayal is intellectually unrigorous and controlling! If you harbour concerns that the object of your affection could be unfaithful, I suggest either speaking to them, ditching them or tattooing the serenity prayer on your forearm. Please find some solace in knowing pain is part of being alive and being mistreated does not determine your worth.
While my sage advice may be just that, it does not stop the burns people leave you with, and that is where country music comes in, an art form brimming with some of the most batshit sentiments known to humankind. And to me, that is beautiful. Like, some say that horror movies are good for exploring deep-seated fears, well country music is the same thing for annoying people.
Recognising we have these sides to ourselves isn’t a crime, and giving a bit of the ol’ banjo treatment adds an extra layer of fun. Country, a genre with a solid storytelling tradition, would be arguably nothing without admitting and acknowledging the crazier moments of romantic upset. Like, Dolly Parton, on her 1967 debut LP ‘Hello, I’m Dolly’, has a song titled ‘I Don’t Want To Throw Rice’. In the ditty, she outlines her desire to pelt her ex’s new bride, who she alleges “took her only love away”, with rocks.
It seems safe to guess that she did not follow through with this threat. Seriously, if there were a woman out there, a victim of a violent assault at the hands of Dolly fucking Parton, we’d know about it. Some wealthy culture war grifter, who loathes kids getting free books and Marxist feminist movies like ‘9 to 5’, would have offered himself up to fund her legal action so she could come forward in the event of costly litigation.
So yeah, Dolly didn’t do it; she just sang about it. Even ‘Jolene’ pushes the idea that you can “take” someone’s man. However, it’s a beloved classic because of the desperate heartbreak it radiates; she’s begging this roaster to stay, even if you want to scream, ‘You dumb bitch, he left! Jolene didn’t take him.”
The short and narrow of these sorts of feelings touch the back catalogues of many country legends, including, but not limited to, Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn and Patsy Cline. WOMEN’S HISTORY IS IMPORTANT! ‘Better than Revenge’ might not be as good (and just a campy meme now) but let’s remain calm by arming ourselves with some perspective.
Much of Swift’s enduring appeal is how her work, particularly before she became one of Jack Antonoff’s main pop girlies with ‘1989’, feels ripped straight from her diary. She’s a bit unhinged, a bit messy, but like nothing that would get you sectioned or charged criminally.
Regardless, often the route to forgo toxic narratives, like an actress “better known for the things she does on the mattress” will capture the Jonas Brother from out underneath you “faster than you can say sabotage”, is coughing it all out, slamming the notebook shut and letting it flit away.
And misogyny can sometimes be a little treat.
Siri, play ‘Misery Business’ by Paramore.
"Crazy" by Patsy Cline is one of my all time favourites!